Carmichael's Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkin Patchin'

The Springs in Tulsa

Wedding Day

Ceremony

Reception

Our Wedding

Coming out of a fog, I looked up to see Okcate's deeply worried face. “What’s up?” I asked sleepily. “Baby, you&nbsp;﻿just had a seizure. I called 911 and the paramedics are almost here.” It was April 3, 2022. Okcate and I were settling in for the night at our garage apartment. She was making earrings, and the last thing I remembered was looking up places to stay in her hometown, Saint Simon's Island, Georgia, where we had been planning a vacation for some time. “All Things Must Pass” by George Harrison won a Grammy that night for best vinyl re-release, so earlier, I had put on our copy. Now, “Thanks for the Pepperoni” was blaring from the speakers and Okcate was helping me stand up to meet the EMTs waiting near the front door of our apartment. While being guided to a stretcher in the driveway, my foot caught a crack in the stone walkway and I stumbled. Something jarred loose inside my shoulder and an overwhelming, sharp pain took hold. At the hospital, the doctors gave me an X-ray and determined that my shoulder was dislocated. It was rotated back into place, much to my relief, but my recovery is still ongoing some months later. Later, Okcate would say that she heard me from the other room banging against things, then came in to find me shaking violently on the couch and frothing at the mouth. Unable to roll me into a recovery position, she tried to sit me up to keep me from aspirating or hitting my head. My mind had checked out and my body was totally resisting her. Thinking I might be dying and that these could be our last moments together, she did her best to hold me close. ••• Just days before, I had decided to propose. In our five years together, we’ve had several discussions about marriage, but I’ve typically been the one to express hesitance. I’ve never doubted my love and commitment, but marriage can be such an ordeal -- so expensive and stressful. Still, the idea had been percolating for a long time. One afternoon, during a visit to the Tulsa Botanic Garden, I asked her about wedding and engagement rings. “Do people usually buy a matching set? Do women wear them both at the same time, or alternate, or just never wear their engagement rings again after a wedding?“ She’d worked quite a few weddings, so I figured she might know more than me, but the question upset her a bit. She thought I wasn’t considering marriage anytime soon, so it was somewhat of a sore subject. Unbeknownst to her, I was actively looking at rings to buy, and even making plans to reserve the venue. ••• After an MRI of my head showed no abnormalities, I’ve come to accept that the seizure was caused by an anti-depressant that I’d been taking. The max dosage carries an increased seizure risk as a side effect. I’ve stopped taking that medication, and haven't had any further issues. In the weeks following the dislocation, I slowly recovered the use of my left arm through regular physical therapy. This would be important for the proposal because (and I had to look this up beforehand) an engagement ring is traditionally presented with the left hand while bent down on the left knee. Even after everything that had happened, we still decided to go on our trip to Saint Simon's Island, and it was everything that I could have asked for. I’d never been to Georgia, and Okcate showed me all around the state on a whirlwind tour of the different places she’s lived, played, and gone to school, plus a few new spots that neither of us had seen before. From Atlanta, to Tallulah Falls, to Cumberland Island, to Savannah, to Saint Simon's Island, the ring was hidden in my luggage or in my pocket -- while I waited for the right moment. ••• On our last full day on the Island, one month to the day since the seizure, I decided to propose near an old cedar tree that Okcate used to climb as a kid. It’s located by the Saint Simon's Pier and a community theater that she attended for years growing up, which shaped her love of theatre and inspired her major in college. A few years ago, she wrote a bittersweet song about her childhood that references building sandcastles on the beach, eating ice cream, and climbing trees. We spent the afternoon walking along the beach and in a park near the pier, talking and taking photos. When Okcate went to the restroom, I took the opportunity to set up a camera near the cedar tree. As she was walking back over to me, an amateur artist approached her holding a painting of a truck and said, “If you buy your boyfriend this truck, he'll definitely want to marry you." She politely declined, then came over to me and told me what the man had said. Odd coincidences and synchronicities like this have become commonplace in our lives since knowing each other. The universe seemed to be setting me up. All I could think to say was, “Well…would you like to be? Married to me?” Then I got down on one knee (the wrong one first because I was so nervous) and pulled the ring from my pocket. She said, “Yes!” We kissed and held each other for a long time, then sat down on the nearest seaside bench to begin planning the wedding and the start of the next phase of our lives together.

A Modest Proposal

The Proposal

Okcate and Steven met through a mutual friend in 2015 and quickly began recording music together under increasingly better band names. After bonding over music, movies, art, drama, travel, hiking, politics, Halloween, and a shared bizarre sense of humor, they eventually fell head over heels in love.&nbsp; Weird enough apart, with their forces combined they've proven to be unstoppable. Their relationship has survived and thrived under the intense strain of multiple medical and family emergencies, non-profit employment, the building of their own business, three political campaigns, several out-of-tune instruments, the erosion of human rights, the unyielding demands of a spoiled cat, and years-long cohabitation in a garage apartment during a global pandemic. The true adventure lies ahead as Steven and Okcate reflect on and solidify their commitment to one another and continue their quest for artistic expression and a more habitable, loving world -- together as husband and wife.

Love, man.

Our Story

Photos

We'd love for you to enjoy our city with us during your stay. If you arrive on the weekend, choose your own adventure, or hit us up -- we can grab a bite or enjoy the outdoors together before the big day! Tulsa is where the Mvskoke, Cherokee, and Osage Reservations meet. In addition, it is home to people from over fifty-two countries, and the cultural influences are abundant. We love traveling, but some of the food and drink here in Tulsa can't be beat. Here are some of our favorites: Food:Que Gusto (Ecuadorian)India Palace (Indian)Tacos Don Fransisco (Mexican)Kilkenny's (Irish / American / Pub)La Villa Ravenna (Italian)Antionette (French inspired Bakery)Pancho Anaya (Mexican Bakery)NATV (Indigenous) Drink:Kilkenny'sHeirloom Ales473Cabin Boy's Brewery Music Venues:Guthrie GreenCain's BallroomMaggie's Music BoxThe Tulsa TheatreLowDown There are also art galleries to visit, hiking / walking trails, and public green spaces. Some of the places we frequent are:The Council OakTulsa Botanic GardenThe PhilbrookCircle CinemaAHHA108 ContemporaryRay Harrel Nature CenterTurkey MountainKeystone Ancient ForestRiverside walking / biking trailThe Gathering PlaceFirst Americans Museum (OKC) Also, if you're looking for something to do pre-ceremony on Monday, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/518778966395408" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Tulsa Native American Day</a> is going on from 9 AM - 5 PM!

Welcome to Tulsa (Let's Visit!)

Osage Casino - Tulsa

Fairfield Inn & Suites by Marriott Tulsa Downtown Arts District

Holiday Inn Express & Suites Tulsa Downtown, an IHG Hotel

In addition to the hotels listed here, there are really nice Airbnbs in the <a href="https://www.airbnb.com/s/Tulsa--Oklahoma--United-States/homes?tab_id=home_tab&amp;refinement_paths%5B%5D=%2Fhomes&amp;flexible_trip_lengths%5B%5D=one_week&amp;query=Tulsa%2C%20OK&amp;date_picker_type=calendar&amp;place_id=ChIJjy7R3biStocR92rZG8gQaec&amp;source=structured_search_input_header&amp;search_type=autocomplete_click" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Tulsa,</a> <a href="https://www.airbnb.com/s/Skiatook-Lake--Oklahoma--USA/homes?tab_id=home_tab&amp;refinement_paths%5B%5D=%2Fhomes&amp;flexible_trip_lengths%5B%5D=one_week&amp;query=Skiatook%20Lake%2C%20OK&amp;place_id=ChIJDzh3TZfZtocRPHrra4lpHeM&amp;date_picker_type=calendar&amp;source=structured_search_input_header&amp;search_type=autocomplete_click" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Skiatook Lake,</a> and <a href="https://www.airbnb.com/s/Sperry--Oklahoma--United-States/homes?tab_id=home_tab&amp;refinement_paths%5B%5D=%2Fhomes&amp;flexible_trip_lengths%5B%5D=one_week&amp;date_picker_type=calendar&amp;source=structured_search_input_header&amp;search_type=autocomplete_click&amp;query=Sperry%2C%20OK&amp;place_id=ChIJzwfOOwbmtocRleOy4yG9qfo" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sperry</a> areas. If you have a question about a listing an area of town you're looking at, please feel free to email us! Uber and Lyft services to/from the airport are readily available in the area, as well.

Where to Stay

Ceremony, officiated by DanielleWelcome family and friends! Thank you for joining as Okcate and Steven take their first steps as a family. Family is important. They are the people who have your back in a fight and pick you up when you fall. To quote A Tale of Two Cities, they are there for “the best of times and the worst of times." Interesting book to pull a quote for a wedding from, I know. But Steven and Okcate have already experienced both joy and struggles, and with the other at their side, have made it to today. As George and Margo or Jim and Alice can testify, marriage is work but also play. There are days that are nothing but laughter and days where you will love each other, even if you don’t like each other too much. Remember that this is a marathon relay, not a sprint, and that you have a partner in this race. Now I didn’t play sports growing up, so that is the extent of my sports analogies, but I know that Steven and Okcate understand music. Like a symphony or a simple jam session with friends, you each have your own unique part to play, an instrument that is special to you. Listen to each other, communicate your needs, support each other through the solos, take time to laugh and play, and realize that alone you might be that weird kid, but together, you’re a pretty awesome band. Okcate and Steven have written their own vows. Steven to OkcateEver since we metEven when we were just friendsBeing around you has always felt so rightNatural and comfortable Now that we’re partners in everythingWork, hobbies, and loveEvery day feels like an adventureAnd there’s still so much to look forward to Your presence lifts me upAnd your encouragement pushes meTo take care of myself, to be braveAnd to try my best to live the life that I want You make me feel like everything is going to be okayBecause, at the end of each dayNo matter how it went, we’re togetherAnd support one another Our friendship is such a wonderful giftIt feels like we’ve somehowTapped into something ancientAnd bigger than ourselves There have been timesWhen I feel like I must be dreamingBecause I never imaginedThat I could find someone as right for me as you But it’s all realI’m awake, and I’m the luckiest guy in the worldTo be standing here with you todayI love you Okcate to StevenSteven, each day with you is a precious gift, and I’m immensely grateful for the joy we’ve found with each other. Home. With you, it is safe, hopeful, fun, and feels infinite with possibility. May the life we share always be reflective of the love, talents, weirdness, and tenderness we share with one another. Mvto for choosing me as your partner, your companion, your confidante, and now, your wife. Mvto for accepting me the way I am and for encouraging me to grow into the best version of myself. Mvto for growing with me. Mvto for being my friend. I vow to honor our sacred union and to make the best of each moment we are blessed to share. Your strength, wit, and devotion are the cat’s pajamas. I love you, I like you, I want you, I choose you. Today and Always. DanielleFor the early Celts, the oak tree represented the Tree of Life, which symbolizes the necessary balance between that which is above and below. The branches grow wide and tall, while the roots push deep into the earth. For several Southeastern tribes, like the Mvskoke and Cherokee, the Cedar tree is an important ceremonial plant, used in purifying ceremonies and medicine. Cedar holds powerful protective spirits and is a gift from the Creator. As you plant and water these young trees, remember to also water and care for the roots of your relationship. (Symbolic Tree Planting and Watering) DanielleDo you have the rings?Okcate, repeat after me. With this ring, I promise to love you through the hard times, laugh and find the positive in the sad times, savor the joyous times, and have your back no matter what comes. Steven, repeat after me. With this ring, I promise to love you through the hard times, laugh and find the positive in the sad times, savor the joyous times, and have your back no matter what comes. Congratulations! You may kiss your partner! It gives me great pleasure to introduce Steven James McCommas and Okcate Evita Smith McCommas!

With This Ring

Wedding Party

Registry

okcateandsteven.com

Okcate & Steven

Okcate & Steven

O&S

Pumpkin Patchin'

Wedding Day

6:00 PM–6:30 PM

Ceremony

6:30 PM–11:00 PM

Reception